


This is the Deal You Made

by Erin_Ravenseeker



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Identity-Reveal, Romance (Sort Of), Self-Hatred (enough to qualify as a tag), and have faults, and honestly a bit scarred but who wouldn't be, basically these children are sad, but it's okay because they have each other™, more in notes about that if that's somehow interesting, post-reveal, this was a random idea that came from two different places at once i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 08:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11573946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erin_Ravenseeker/pseuds/Erin_Ravenseeker
Summary: Neither of them are without fault. Both of them know this.It's hard to not find the faults within oneself.There are days when it's all they can do to not break down completely.





	This is the Deal You Made

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so Miraculous Ladybug.
> 
> ... enjoy I guess haha.

_Post on the Ladyblog, Today at 11:03pm._

_**victory once again!** _

**theLadyblogger**  
another akuma beat by ladybug and chat noir! you two are awesome!!  
ladybug totes beat ass back ther like omg ur the best  
herere the snaps i got frm the fight bros  
attachment: heckyes.pptx  
but srsly its like 11pm cn hwkmoth plz just take a brkkkkk alredy????

_Comments on; victory once again!_

**cookietime** at _11:10pm_  
ladybug _isn’t_ the best, she’s useless without chat noir

**curiositykilledthechat** at _11:13pm_  
What do you mean? I disagree.

**cookietime** at _11:14pm_  
i mean ladybug would probably be dead by now if it werent for chat noir

**curiositykilledthechat** at _11:16pm_  
Don’t say that! Ladybug is definitely capable of taking all these akumas on her own, you know.

**cookietime** at _11:17pm_  
shes literally cannon fodder w/out chat what are you talking about. i stand by my previous claim shes naive and shed already be dead

**curiositykilledthechat** at _11:18pm_  
That’s a lie! Ladybug is intelligent, beautiful, and she works incredibly hard to keep the city safe every night! That’s more than many people in Paris can do.

**cookietime** at _11:20pm_  
whatever. she wouldve died tonight if it werent for chat noir. dont even try to convince me otherwise.

**theLadyblogger** at _11:21pm_  
the heck is goin on here!?!??!!?!?!!1?!?? this is blASPHEMY

Marinette didn’t even dare to look at the next response, closing the tab. Of course Alya had to arrive then. Marinette’s honestly surprised she hasn’t been banned yet for all the times she’s ‘blasphemed’ or whatever about Ladybug. Maybe that’s just her best friend privileges speaking.

Her phone buzzes. Probably Alya. She doesn’t even care right now, flopping back onto her bed, pulling a pillow over her head, and screaming into it. She’s so tired, it’s one of _those days_ , and she just can’t handle it right now. Not with the late-night akuma attack, with her friends throwing praise at her alter ego all the time, not when she really doesn’t deserve it. Sometimes it’s fun, but on days like this she only fights because she’s the only one who _can_.

She doesn’t move as the trapdoor above her bed squeaks a little, as a small gust of the chilly night air outside puffs into the room, as a weight lands and makes itself comfortable on her bed. She feels like if she lifts the pillow off her head she’ll scream or sob and she can’t do it. Not when he’s come to visit her on a night like this. He didn’t _have_ to argue with her online, he didn’t _have_ to break out at almost midnight, and he certainly didn’t _have_ to jump rooftops in the cold just to make sure she would be okay. 

Marinette resists the urge to punch something, probably herself, as slivers of green light filter past her shut eyelids. She can hear Plagg muttering and the sound of a drawer opening, likely the small cat getting at the camembert she always keeps there for him. When she feels the pillow being pulled at a little, she only holds it tighter. 

“Mari,” Adrien says quietly, and she lets out a sob. She’s shaking, she knows, and he scoops her up into his arms as she cries and her pillow leaves her face and all she can do is latch onto him. Either one of them could’ve died tonight and it’s just so hard to think straight and here she is, breaking down when she really shouldn’t and it’s just _so difficult_ to keep going on like everything is normal when it really isn’t. She can’t go to school tomorrow, and she has no doubt Adrien would just stay here and play games with her for the whole day if she didn’t force him to go. 

“It’s okay,” he shushes, and she knows she can hear Tikki and Plagg talking in the background but all she can focus on is how tight her grip on the front of Adrien’s shirt is because if she lets her mind any further than what is immediately in front of her she’ll snap completely. “We’re okay.” She ignores the buzzing of her phone by her leg. Alya’s either mad, or worried, or both, but she can’t care right now. 

It seems like ages before Marinette's able to pull away just a little, forcing her breathing to even. Adrien still won’t budge, keeping her in a close hug. God knows she needs it. 

“You didn’t have to come,” she says eventually, body completely under control once again. She pulls away. “I’ll have been fine eventually.” 

“Nonsense, bug. What kind of partner would I be then?” he gives her an empathetic smile. “Besides, we both have our days. At least I can be here for you.” 

More tears are going down Marinette’s cheeks but now she’s smiling faintly. She’s pulled back into the hug and honestly, there’s nothing else she wants right now. 

If the next day is spent napping and cuddling and playing video games and _definitely not at school_ , who’s to judge? 

• • • • •

Breathing is hard. 

_Skeletal muscles attach to bones and move according to messages from the nervous system. One such muscle is the diaphragm, the muscle that facilitates the breathing process by expanding and contracting the space inside of the lungs, creating a vacuum that is quickly replaced by air via the bronchial tubes._

Moving is hard. 

_Fatigue slows the central nervous system, causing difficulties in reaction time and movement speed. As muscles typically involved in all types of movement are skeletal muscles, they rely on the central nervous system to pilot them._

Keeping one’s tired heart from breaking is hard. 

_Scientifically speaking, hearts themselves cannot break. They aren’t made of a brittle substance, they are muscle. However hearts, unlike other muscles, cannot tire. They consist of a special muscle called cardiac muscle, which contains up to 35% mitochondria, supplying the heart with a nigh-limitless amount of energy. While the heart does not tire naturally, it isn’t impossible for it to tire. By the point that it does, serious damage has already been done to the fibres._

The bright screen hurts his eyes in the darkness of his room. His hands are shaking. Plagg is asleep. He doesn’t want to wake the exhausted kwami. The Ladyblog is open on his computer and he can’t keep writing. Alya’s probably pissed. 

**curiositykilledthechat** at _9:47pm_  
Chat Noir doesn’t even do anything useful. 

**theLadyblogger** at _9:51pm_  
wat the heck u talkin about?!??!?!????? 

**curiositykilledthechat** at _9:53pm_  
I mean, Ladybug always carries the fights. She’s the one who always fixes everything. 

**cookietime** at _9:54pm_  
that doesn’t mean chat noir isn’t helpful! 

**theLadyblogger** at _9:54pm_  
chat noir protects ladybug and makes it so she _can_ fix everythin tho!!! 

**curiositykilledthechat** at _9:56pm_  
All he does is destroy things and put people in danger. 

Adrien's vision is blurry. When did he start crying? He can’t read the messages on the Ladyblog. It probably doesn’t matter. His phone buzzes. Several times. Then it rings. He doesn’t pick it up, doesn’t move from his spot in the chair at his desk. When a cold gust of wind hits him he faintly thinks _When did my window open?_ before two arms wrap around his shoulders from behind. _Ah. Then._ The window is always unlocked anyway. His hand grips the arms tightly, and he doesn’t protest when they urge him up and move him over to the couch to sit down. He still doesn’t look. There’s a flash of pink light as the window is shut, then footsteps make their way to him. 

“Shhhhh, it’s alright,” Marinette sits down beside him and pulls him into a hug. She runs her hands through his hair as he silently struggles to control his breathing. He’s leaning heavily on her, but she doesn’t complain. He’s always leaning on her, always being a burden, always messing things up and endangering her and being controlled and destroying everything. 

“Quiet now, kitty,” she whispers as he opens his mouth to say something, anything, and he buries his face further into her shoulder. His hands are shaking but he’s stopped crying now, at least. 

“All I do is destroy things,” he gets out meekly after a few minutes. Marinette hums. 

“What about us? You’re always saving me. _You_ were the one to ask me out,” she replies gently. 

“I’m scared,” he’s almost whispering now. “I have the power to destroy everything I touch. I _do_ destroy everything I touch.” It’s barely audible now. “What if I destroy some _one_?” 

“I’ll know you never meant to,” comes the steady reply. He knew that would be the answer. He just can’t believe Marinette would trust him so deeply and entirely. Because it’s happened before, that he’s tried to use Cataclysm on a person. She told him so; he'd pulled it on her during the Dark Cupid incident. He feels sick. The power to destroy whatever he touches, to kill people so easily, is terrifying to wield. He feels like he shouldn’t have this responsibility, no matter what Plagg or Tikki say. He can't trust _himself_ enough. 

They spend a little longer in silence until Adrien is almost falling asleep on Marinette’s shoulder, calmed and purring quietly. Side effects of being Chat Noir. She eventually huffs and nudges him up. 

“Come on, sleepy kitty, we have a test tomorrow and I need my beauty sleep too.” Adrien protests faintly as she leaves. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Is that okay?” 

Adrien nods. “Yes. I’m okay.” 

• • • • • 

Alya and Nino are worried about their friends, sure. Sometimes the happiness seems forced, too-wide smiles and very quick "i’m fine"s followed by a change in subject. They’re better around each other, though. Marinette is less frantic when near Adrien, and Alya suspects she’s just pretending to be all flustered and such now. Adrien seems less tense around Marinette, more comfortable in his own skin. 

Alya and Nino know they aren’t part of whatever seems to be going on in their best friends’ lives. They know no matter how much they wish they could change the circumstances, know and be part of it, it’s something they can’t be privy to. 

Whatever’s wrong, they’re glad those two have each other. 

• • • • • 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this chapter](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11040291/chapters/24856605) in [seasonofthegeek's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/seasonofthegeek/pseuds/seasonofthegeek) awesome [One Hundred MORE Miraculous Drabbles](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11040291/chapters/24609519).
> 
> Also inspired by that one bit in JelloApocalypse's [So This is Basically Miraculous Ladybug](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32b4_BQcLng) when he says "ladybubs has the power to be lucky, and catnerd has the power to _**kill anything he touches**_."
> 
> So yeah, the combination of those two things spawned this in my brain and I couldn't get it out. So I wrote it.
> 
> Also Adrien definitely has a pun as his name on the Ladyblog. DUH. 
> 
> P.S. please tell me if you see any mistakes, I read through it like once and hopefully it's fine haha. i just needed to get the idea out my head.


End file.
